Ice Fishing Jokes
It was a cold winter day, when an old man walked out onto a
frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line and began
waiting for a fish to bite. He was there for almost an hour without even a
nibble when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in the ice not too
far from the old man and dropped in his fishing line. It only took about a
minute and WHAM! A Largemouth Bass hit his hook and the boy pulled in the fish.
The old man couldn't believe it but figured it was just luck. But, the boy
dropped in his line and again within just a few minutes pulled in another one.
This went on and on until finally the old man couldn't take it any more since he
hadn't caught a thing all this time. He went to the boy and said, "Son, I've
been here for over an hour without even a nibble. You have been here only a few
minutes and have caught about half a dozen fish! How do you do it?" The boy
responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rrarm." "What was that?" the old man asked.
Again the boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rarrm." "Look," said the old
man, "I can't understand a word you are saying." So, the boy spit into his hand
and said, "You have to keep the worms warm!"
One day this Blonde decides to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary "tools" together, she made for the nearest suitable looking patch of ice.
After positioning her comfy stool, she starts to make a circular cut in the ice.
Suddenly ---from the sky--- a voice booms out,
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
Startled, the Blonde moves further down
pours herself a cup of cappuccino, and begins to cut another hole.
Again, from the heavens, a voice bellows,
Startled, the Blonde moves further down the ice, pours herself a cup of cappuccino, and begins to cut another hole.
Again, from the heavens, a voice bellows,"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
The Blonde, now quite worried, moves way down to the opposite end of the ice, sets up her stool, and tries yet again, to cut herself a hole.
But, once again the voice thunders: "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
She stops, looking skyward, and says, "Is that you, Lord?"
The voice replies, "No, I'm the Ice-Rink Manager!"
Ole,Lars, and Sven were out Fishing one Hot Summer Day. And, like many of us who fish, they'd tossed a few beers back, (well maybe quite a few knowing them guys).
Sven he decides to relieve himself over the side of the boat, as is standard protocol when one's fishing, and drinking vast quantities of their favorite fishing beverage, and he falls overboard.
Ole and Lars found this quite amusing, at first, but after a few minutes without Sven surfacing they began to get just a wee bit alarmed, to say the least.
Ole finally decides Sven must've sank to the bottom and isn't coming up, so he decides to jump overboard and rescue him. After swimming around down on the bottom for a few minutes, he finds old Sven and drags him up to the surface.
Him and Lars hoist Sven back in the Boat, and Ole climbs aboard and begins mouth to mouth resuscitation.
After a few minutes without much success, Ole takes a breather, looks over at Lars and says, "Holy Carp Lars, I don't remember Sven's breath bein' that bad!!"
Lars pulls off his cap, scratches his head for a moment and says, "Geez Ole, you know I don't remember Sven wearing no dad blamed snowmobile suit either!"